U-Turn

             Worried that I might have blognesia, I was grateful that I have something to talk about today because last night I was with the girls as usual and as usual having our desserts, and coffee, and as usual was talking about men and babies and life and as usual I spearheaded the expected route which means circling the city and scouting for potential “koya!” before heading home when the battery indicator on the dashboard flashed like alarms sirens in front of me that I panicked and made Alvin get us at Shell Select. Louie started fine and he was still running yet I needed to hear Alvin’s “Lose contact with the battery lang..” before I was convinced nothing was wrong. The matirang matibay, Dianne and I, were taking Yen home when the all the lights in the dashboard flickered and suddenly everything went dark.Dianne and I panicked for two seconds. Louie was in a street inside the subdivision without lampposts. Yen was coming but I speed dialed everyone I know that might come help us. People were either sleeping or had some excuse to not come over. Where are your friends when you need them! And Hector, who was in Gitagum, said he’ll call my ex to come get me which made me say no, thanks anyway. One friend who was over friendly last weekend was more than eager to help us out but he might expect sex after so scratch him, too.

Yelena came to get us in her pickup and got us a security guard to help with the pushing. Oh my God, poor Dianne! We were laughing so hard so forgot to take pictures sayang. I have to leave the car there so I could get it later in the morning.

I came home exhausted at 5am and took a nap for two hours. If my dad has not been calling nonstop on my phone I wouldn’t have woken up and realized it was already 7am! My parents were out of town and I bit my cheek as I told them that I came home at 12am. After that call I madly dashed to my dad’s office in my mom’s car to look for his driver slash mechanic. Braless. But I had a jacket on. Haha.The car was there where I left it hours ago. Manong Tony, all 51 years old and 4 feet and 11 inches of him, opened both hoods, took out batteries and in no time had the car’s engine whirring. He then warned me to make certain the engine doesn’t shut down since it won’t start again.  We convoyed all the way to their office when I noticed Tony slowing down near GSIS building in Carmen and pulled over. I got out of the car and ran to him.

“Are you okay, Nong?”
“Stupid fan belt. But it’s okay. See you at the office.”  And he left.

I went back to the car and was about to follow him when nothing happened to the car. I turned off the engine. Effffff… I turned it off pala and Nong Tony was no longer in sight. Even though it was already 90 degrees outside I didn’t take off my jacket when I climbed down the car and embarrassedly asked for men passing by to help push the car to start.

Oh, no. Wait, there’s more. Finally I was able to catch up with the driver and we were stuck in traffic at Liceo University. The two-lane road going to the highway was congested but the next two lanes were all clear. I didn’t see Nong Tony behind me and I wanted him to go first so I decided to head back and tail him. I made a perfect horizontal sweep para mag U-turn and backed it up when the car died.In. The. Middle. Of. The. Road. And suddenly the traffic light next lane turned green and now cars are all coming up to meet the barricade that was me.

The a/c was off and I was sweating like hell but I locked the doors when people began circling mom’s car and wondering what the hell is holding me up. I swore on my driver’s license that I’d pull all my teeth before I’d show my face to all these angry people outside – angry people who also rapped on the windows to demand what’s going on.

I opened the door a little and meekly shouted, “It won’t start!” then quickly slammed it shut. I prayed fervently that these people would think that the driver probably is an idiot who gets high on Freon and passes out in the middle of the road while driving and leave me alone.

There was more rapping and I could make out Mang Tony himself calling my name. Patay, I have no choice. My makeup kit was in disarray when I hastily put on makeup, combed my hair and dabbed on cologne and took of my jacket. Here goes. Haha. I climbed down the car and was greeted by hostile people ready to strangle me.

“Ay, babae!”
“Sus! Babae diay!”

So??? Pungyeta. I repeatedly said I was sorry and I really tried hard to make it go but it won’t and ask them would they want to help push the car so that I’ll be out of the way.

“If we all help and push this car, I will not be in your way anymore, diba, kesa naman you’d get all angry and nothing can be done and there would be more traffic.”

And they did. They pushed. Omg, I am so crazy sometimes. When the car was pushed all the way out of their way, the road cleared in five minutes. Can you fathom any other stressful episode? How many pesos later anyway, Louie was okay. My friends would have gone to Bukidnon that day but after that I’m scared to be anywhere 1000 miles away with Louie. And I wish I’d just known earlier:

1. …that an automotive course is the next best thing after learning how to drive! I feel so helpless while a 51 year old man tinkers with something I should be responsible for learning. I might get on that in Cebu.
2. …to never leave the house without a bra, or with clothes you don’t want to be seen in public. Oh, well, I still had my clothes on from last night that day but looking at a jeepney driver mesmerized at your headlights is not funny.
3. …that any promise of sex is always worth helping out a damsel in distress.
4. …that your friends disappoint you sometimes. And some people do surprise you. And it’s good.Howeveroo, thank you to those who called in the morning and those who saw me on the streets and offered to help and they weren’t people that I usually hang out with and to those who offered to send their drivers over, and the funniest was an offer to bring me a t-shirt to cover my tank top. Hateful!

But I’m just thrilled that something not usual happened on a usual night with my usual friends. =)

This is me and Dianne and Yen before the uh, ordeal. =)